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Behind the eyes of a convict


So as I try to familiarize myself with this phone tech, I'm going to kick the bobos at the same time. I left off by telling you that my life has been a real journey and I'm especially blessed to still be among the living.

My struggle started when my kids' mom may she rest in peace, took my kids to Atlanta in 93'. I was so fucked up and pissed off so much that I got out there super bad on that crack rock. The whole Maywood saw me. The only good thing is that I was still a beloved guy throughout the land.


By me also being a gangsta disciple, one of Larry Hoovers' finest soldiers, I was out of pocket. I caught my first case that summer and spent about 7 to 9 months in cook county jail. The county was still the county then. It was real structure. Violations were the norm. You get out of pocket and the ass got taxed. That was the most extreme penalty though. Most of the time your pockets would get taxed. Myself, I was plugged in with the leadership cause that to me is the safest place to operate from. That still works for me till this day. I’ve never been a stupid nigga, I just had an I don't give a fuck attitude and was very susceptible to always doing stupid shit.

Most times there was never any real gang banging cause that would entail opposing gangsters having some type of beef which was never the case. The most drama would be internal, meaning a problem within the gang. Chicago gangs ain't like the crips and bloods of California. We had an organizational structure. We didn't dislike you, fight you, or shoot and kill you just because of the color you wear. I think that doesn't make a lot of sense. GD colors are black & blue, but my favorite color is black & red. It makes my eyes pop. Feel me?

So if I pay for the clothes I should be able to wear my shit! I was in San Diego in the late 80s so I'm familiar with the west coast mentality. I actually got locked up in Cali first. I did 2 months in the Chula Vista jail in Diego.

So I learned my laws and policies and established myself as an outstanding member who aids and assists my fellow brothers of the struggle in all righteous endeavors. You got to be righteous though. I can keep myself in bullshit. Don't need no help.

When I hit the joint for the first time in the spring of 95', I immediately volunteered to hold a spot of authority. My first spot was a gallery chief of security known as the GCOS. The eyes and ears of the mob.

Photo by Emiliano Bar on Unsplash

In my first 2 bids, I only had the mob to help me. I was only 25 and my kids were still super young. Tough love is not a good thing for those on the receiving end. I don't like that shit. I believe in unconditional love. Don't make me work for love. I mean you can be mad, tell me to kiss your ass and all that good shit, but when I call pick up. When I write, write back. Tell me you love me without me having to always make the first move. I hate that.

I ain’t never really had no real money money, hence the felonious capers. But I know how to get money. I'm what you call a nerdy thug. I'm a street nigga, but I was a book worm first. So I knew how to navigate the joint. All joints are the same operational wise. What's different is the security class of the inmate population. Individuals are what deems the atmosphere of the joint is.

Now things are very much different. Other than the supermax joints most of the caps in Illinois are watered down as well. Once them people took back the joints and separated the head of the snake from the body of the serpent it was all over. Now no joint is on count as far as GD is concerned. All niggas care about in the joint now is dayroom time, the telephone, and going to commissary. A Lot of the younger guys will buy $100.00 of food and not one bar of soap or toothpaste. I've been in cells with a few guys like that. Black, White, and Latino. Once you are inside you see the similarities between the races. They are vast and the differences are actually non-existent outside of skin color. What I believe is that people don't want to acknowledge what's right in front of their eyes. Black folks too. We just ain’t up with suppressing an entire people to advance our own agenda. But we ain't got no problem killing other black folks for nothing more than bragging rights. Yep, we'll shoot each other in a minute.

The joint is an experience better left untouched. Got to go take care of some business so I get back at it later. What you thought I was going to give you everything in one piece? Not. I'm gonna feed it to you slow and steady. 74. 2 15 19

Walt Diesel


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